Tag Archives: PSA

World Cancer Day #16

Leave a reply

Today I found a card in my mailbox. It was from my prostate. It said, “Happy World Cancer Day!”…It would have been funny if it had a balloon….although I don’t want to think about how it would be blown up. “Thank you Prostate!” The handwriting was a little crude. How did he lick the stamp and envelope? Kinda weird huh?

“You’re Welcome prostate”, I chuckled. “To be clear” I continued, “I did it more for me than you. I have had you with me as far back as I can remember…before I knew you were there and what you were for.” We embraced with a quick “kegel hug”. Tender moments….so sweet.

Today is WCD and it is a day marked for a global initiative to raise awareness of the treatment, detection and prevention of cancer. The world rarely gets along and it’s good to see that this is one topic we can all agree on.

Well here we are discussing the old prostate. I bet his ears are burning. Wait.
Never mind…I will stay on course here. For the new folks you can start here
The last post is here on November 11, 2014.

Let me back up to December…December 2nd to be exact.
December 2, 2014: I head back to Brewer’s office to have my PSA tested for my three month check-up back in Knoxville later in the month. It was a beautiful day to check my PSA’s….sunny and a little windy and kinda warm. Did I mention the wind? It was so windy I was afraid my PSA’s might be elevated, which was a source of stress considering how hard I studied.
I arrived early and sat down for about forty-five seconds and I was quickly called to the back. The good news is today there will be no Tom Foolery. No crappy gown, no silly latex gloves and greasy jelly….just a man and his doctor catching up and drawing some blood where my PSA’s hide.
We talked about prostates, kids, golf, friends hugged it out (not really) and he sent me to the nurse who would round-up the the little boogers and count them for me or send them to the counter of the counter. My last count was a 7.7 in Knoxville. It had dropped from 9.2 right before treatment.
Believe it or not riding a bike can raise your PSA….I don’t ride bikes.

December 9, 2014: I receive a text from Doc Brewer…short and sweet, “Psa down to 2.77”. My body had been through quite a bit….for a body. Nothing awful or painful…just more than it would have otherwise…more than a sunburn and less than being beamed from an orbiting spaceship to an orange planet with blue skies and greenish surface dwellers….it took me awhile to shake the fatigue and the discomfort while I healed from the radiation. By December I was F-I-N-E fine. As quick as “it” was here, “it” was gone. I was no worse for the wear and actually felt better than I had in a year. I wasn’t really worried about the results.
But let me tell you….I was pretty freaking stoked. I was very deliberate about not riding bikes of any kind. I knew it was down. But I didn’t know for sure it was down. “2.77….suck it prostate cancer”.

December 12, 2014: I am in Knoxville for my three month check-up. It is a beautiful day in Knoxville. The test results were sent to Provision before I got there. They know what I know….I’m going to roll in there and shake some hands and give out some hugs….the confetti won’t be a big deal…not for my 2.77. I whip my whip in the parking spot facing the sun because that will keep my car a little bit warmer.

The door slides open and there are those two wonderful smiles of Kristin and Jenny. It was the first time I had been to Provision in twenty visits where I didn’t have to chug a bottle of water…..I sat there for a minute maybe. Obviously the confetti machine was broken and everyone was too embarrassed to even talk about it….I went along with it. I didn’t want them to feel any worse.

I did run into a couple from Birmingham who I had spoken to on the phone four or five times to answer questions about my experience…apparently words like, “voo-doo medicine” or “witchcraft” or “clown show” or “snake oil” or even “clown show”…..none of those words phased them, ’cause there they were. We know that’s not true…He was here for the same reason I was and I was excited they were able to make it happen.

Soooooo, me and my 2.77 strolled back in the back….I’m gonna hand out some “Howdy-do’s” and some “Whaddup’s” fill out a questionnaire, answer some questions about how I feel with the good Doctor and I’ll be back on the road in an hour….tops.

Well, I was back on the road in an hour alright. The very wonderful and funny Nurse Brittany will be my nurse which is cool. We catch up a little bit and have some laughs and I answer her questions and fill out the questionnaire. Did you ever notice the answers offered on a questionnaire are always…..always….not right for you? Am I the only one who wants to circle to answers and write the correct answer between them? Back to the event.
She gets to work
Pulse-good
blood pressure-good
temperature-check
Marcio strolls in with his awesomeness and asks a few more questions…He has clearly forgotten that I’m a clown and that I speak sarcasm…he has really let that sense of humor “go” since we used to hang out. He’s all serious again. I let it go. We celebrate my 2.77. I think his eye brows pointed up and the corners of his mouth headed north as to smile…..it was so brief I can’t be sure….he is a very sweet man and great at what he does….”stay golden Pony Boy”.

As I’m about to conclude our visit, Brittany heads for the door and Dr. Fagundes reaches for the dreaded box of blue “butt checking” gloves. I pause and I almost start asking, “Why?….but I…2…..”….I submit. My shoulders drop, I grin and say, “…what’s one more gonna hurt, right?” After three of these it’s like putting on a tie….I don’t even have to think about it.

The extra funny part was how thorough he was….”Moon River”. I don’t know, maybe it had been so long since I had a doctor’s knuckles on my tush that I forgot. I don’t care…it’s kinda funny. Hadley calls it the “prostate handshake”.

Anyway…..I got two thumbs up (And two fingers in)….but I am, at this stage on the road to being cancer free if I’m not cancer free now. It takes time to “know”. I will have my PSA drawn again before March 26th when I am scheduled for my second check up.

Life became “normal” again very quickly once the side effects subsided. Work, carpool, football, dance, football….life.

2014 was an incredible year. I wouldn’t change a thing. Yes! Cancer sucks! It has destroyed so much for so many and continues to torture many others.
Once you get that little chink in your armor…when you realize you are not invincible and “stuff” is stupid but some “stuff” isn’t….I drive a little slower and drag a few moments out just to taste them a little longer.

Am I still a jack-ass? Yes. I’m not riding around on my orange unicorn blowing kisses and farting bubbles….I still get mad, I can be moody…I will be a work in progress right up until the end.

Man, I am good. I’m gonna be just fine. I am in better health than I have been in ten years. No joke.

The prayers appear to have worked. God is good.

Tomorrow, World Cancer Day will be over but every day is cancer day. It doesn’t take a day off. Ignoring it doesn’t weaken it….action does.

If you’re worrying about the unknown, handle it. Tomorrow!

IMG_0003

Onward #15

7 Replies

It has been over two months since I have posted anything here. I read my last post to remind myself where I left this thing. If this is all new to you and you want to get caught up, my first post is here.

Tuesday, September 9th 2014: My final treatment at Provision closes out a really great experience. I am graduate 113. My final day calls for the ceremonious “ringing of the bell” to celebrate my final treatment. During my twenty days of treatment I found myself impressed by the people who provided me with the most amazing care. I began to look forward to seeing my friends. Their kindness and bright smiles did not elude me. They had such an impact on me that I will never forget. I wanted the staff….all of them…those I met as well as those I never got to meet to understand how important they were to me and my experience.

Who doesn’t like a t-shirt?: I called Frank Nystrom at Threds and told him I needed sixty-five t-shirts in less than a week. I had to look at Provision’s most current group picture of the staff on the website and guesstimate sizes. I don’t know how close I got. Michael Bozeman and Bill Hansen helped me with the artwork and logos and colors. Three emails and seventy-two business hours later the shirts are ready. Frank got it done and delivered them to my car bumper on Monday night. They were perfect.

Why come?
Each patient that completes treatment is joined in the common area at the entrance by all staff members who are available. While this day is to celebrate my graduation…I wanted to turn it around and celebrate “them”. In the days leading to my graduation I imagined the message I wanted to share with the group of administrators and care givers. They got about half…I had a lot to say. I whittled it down to whatever they got.

On this day I am joined by Michelle, Parker and Mike Frazier, who has come by to support both Michelle and I. I mentioned in an earlier post about the patient who ran over to the bell and “dinged” it with his knuckle then ran out the front door to avoid the public speaking. Additionally, I mentioned the gentleman who delivered a speech for the ages….unscripted. So eloquent and sincere. My goal was to fall somewhere in the middle. Michelle recorded it. I am not sure what I said…but I believe I conveyed that my experience was not possible without each and every person and the culture that is fostered at the facility…oh and the incredible technology that Terry Douglass brought to East Tennessee as a resource for the community. As Terry Douglass says in this video….”This is not about me”. As much as it was…I wanted it to be about them. I wanted to flip it a little bit. While I am hesitant to share this portion of the story because of the “look what I did” factor, I don’t know of another way to spotlight the caregivers and entire staff of Provision and how special they are than to tell the story.

IMG_0140.JPG
“Graduation Day”

IMG_0139.JPG
“Keep Calm & Proton”

For me it was a very emotional time of my life. There were times when I’m laying there, a little more than vulnerable. I get flooded with emotion of the journey to that point, “How in the world did I get here?”. My eyes would fill with water just up to the tip of my eyelids….sometimes a smidge would drip down the side to my ear….some times. I still don’t know if it was sadness or sorrow or being one step closer to the end…the solution. I don’t know. (Note: I spoke with Joe Crockett after I posted this…we talked about being humbled by all of this…this thing…the people, the love, the impact….the ripples around us both coming and going…thanks for Joe Crockett). Now don’t think we also didn’t have fun. I would submit that we had fun every single day but maybe one…the treatment I flew back in after Alec’s wedding in Chicago. I was exhausted…and ready for a nap. From the airport to Zappacino machine. Whew!

I gave Chris my picture-taking device to capture the fun:

IMG_0127.JPG
“That Wonderful Balloon”

IMG_0133.JPG
“Put Your Left Hip In”

Friends still ask me how I’m doing. How I’m feeling…I say, “It’s really not a sad story…”. We all know what sad stories are..this isn’t one of them. Yes it was difficult at times…mostly on those around me. If I add up the pain of those around me and subtract my pain….the difference is negligible. I’m in it..I know I’m fine. I’m gonna be just fine. They worry and worry and think of the “what if’s” and run through the scenarios and end up right back where they were just to do it all over again….later when it’s quiet….rinse and repeat.

The reality: I played golf, I spent time with my family, parents, nephews, siblings, in laws, outlaws and my lifelong buddies…..most individuals can be characterized in more than one category. The most torture I endured was my golf game….it’s not any better either.
I ate some Petro’s, I ate at Pero’s, I ran into Davis O. at Stir Fry. I enjoyed a few Nixon’s deli sandwiches (due to convenience) and found myself at Sam & Andy’s knocking back a steamed deli and some rings….had lunch with my Young Life Leader, David Freels at Long’s and saw Scott Davis at Rooster’s. I got to meet Frank’s beautiful kids and do a lot the stuff a Knoxville guy does…I didn’t get to do everything I hoped to do but certainly not a bad deal.

Devin is enjoying her freshman year at Auburn. She loves Auburn. Dylan is rocking her sophomore year and lighting up the room with her smile. Parker loves 2nd grade and I must say….so did I.

A few days after I got home and Michelle and I are going to sleep….she reaches over and knocks the crap out of me….kidding. She grabbed my hand and said, “I’m so glad you’re home”….me too Miss Michelle….me too.

“Reunited”

IMG_0123.JPG

Time #5

Leave a reply

Image

Now it’s the wait and see time. I have transitioned to the “we” from the “me” part of this journey. There are just a handful of folks who are aware to some degree of what it going on with me. Looking back on this, telling Michelle was huge. To hit her over the head with this news any later would have been incredibly unfair. My goal to protect her would have caused her so much more pain. I got lucky. God certainly presented that time and I’m fortunate I took His lead. I didn’t see that at the time. I only understood it later.

Everything is actually still alright. I’m not consumed by this except when I have to go to the bathroom. So that’s only five or six times a day…plus the three or more at night before I go to sleep. So, I’ve got that going for me. Consume is a strong word…I’m still looking forward to getting this resolved so I can get my new meds that will fix this whole prostate issue up. I know it will take a few weeks for the medicine to do its job and then I will be able to start a testosterone treatment which will give me my “zip” back and life will be so much better. The guys I know who are on a testosterone replacement therapy have said it is amazing. They rant and rave about the improvement of their quality of life. This is my hope. This vision is the carrot. I am David Surber and things work out every time, all of the time.

Sunday, March 09, 2014: Michelle turns 41 today and most importantly…Daylight Savings Time begins. A year ago Michelle and I were in New York City for her “surprise” 40th birthday celebration. We had so much fun. It snowed, we saw “Wicked”, I spent time with my oldest and best friend, Jay Wright and his wife Gia and met his son again. Tibor was born on our anniversary in 2011. This year’s birthday party?….nothing. We went to Flip Burger with just our family and that was exactly what Michelle wanted. She loves her family and is completely devoted to our kids. She is a much better person than me. She wins….not even close. I collect cell phones and stack them on the corner of the table. Parker reminds me to do this when we have dinner. He gets it. Be in the now.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014: Audrey Julian is born. Audrey Julian is born to Jeff and Brandy Julian. A day for celebration for sure, I think she was born about the time I am getting some pretty crappy news. I have an 8:30 appointment at his office. I can’t remember if this was scheduled at the first appointment or later. I head back to an examination room to meet with Eric. What’s going on in my head? I am prepared for the worst and hopeful for the best news. Eric comes in and we chat a little bit about baseball. Our boys play in the same league and he is a coach. Down to business.He explains that my PSA levels didn’t go down or stay the same. In fact they went up from 7.4 to 9.2.

I have a Phd in fun. I like fun, I like to laugh. I like folks to be happy and humor is my weapon of choice as well as my shield. This is a very serious conversation. My friend has been carrying this burden and is now telling be some “not so great” news. Armed with my humor I keep my wit in its sheath and my shield on the floor. I have also learned when to shut up and listen. I may have lobbed out some “optimism” while we talked but my role in this discussion is clear. Be respectful of what Eric is saying and soak it in. I am going to have to tell Michelle and I must have as many answers to her many, many questions as I can. Michelle is a “details” person. I am a “big picture” person. While she seeks to understand the details she has an ‘interrogation style” of questioning. Its rapid fire and its intelligent. I must be prepared. We know more than we did but we still have a lot to learn. When I leave I do know one thing. I have scheduled a prostate biopsy scheduled for April 3rd.

As I said earlier I hoped for the best but was prepared for the worst. This would be considered the worst news. I’m okay…I think. I had a Chamber Lunch where I serve as an Ambassador. It was a great distraction. Meeting new members and spending a few minutes with a really positive and inspiring group of folks. Michael Giardina is unknowingly providing me some good medicine. Being himself. We will meet again in Seaside, Florida for Spring Break 2014. I’ll save that story for another day.

A Day That Will Live in Infamy #3

Leave a reply

Tuesday, January 28, 2014 8:30am (CST) : What a day. I get to the doctor’s office a little early and I have completed my paperwork complete with insurance card and paid my money. I wait for a few minutes. I go back and meet with Eric. I have blood drawn. I have my second Digital Rectal Examination in my whole life which covers one week and approximately one hour. Two different men with two different approaches but more importantly they both got it done in mid sentence and before I could prepare myself. 

This is one swift motion for these guys. Here it is in slow motion; snap of the glove, lube, ass-punch, glove off (while stepping on the industrial waste can pedal to open and close the lid), latex glove squeals as it is swiftly removed from the master’s hand and deposited in said waste can, all while talking to me. I don’t know what he said. The only warning that I had; was hearing his voice oscillate and then roll toward me as he readied himself and the rumble of the wheels of the stool. I don’t think those wheels stopped. One big scoot. I only know this part of our visit is over, because he sprang up handed me some tissues like a gentleman and began to wash his hands.

DRE, twice in one week….accounting for a total time of one-second. This one-second of my life is what has truly been the source of my procrastination. ONE-SECOND! The relief of knowing that I have faced this “fear” twice in one week filled me with pride. Not the pride many of us have that prevents us from going to the doctor and having an honest conversation…not the stupid pride. The good pride.

The only thing I can imagine worse than being on the index finger end of a DRE is being on the wrist side of the DRE. I tended bar for nine years and I bet I never dealt with as many assholes as these guys have. This is what they do though. A thankless job if everything checks out okay. Both Doctors said that my prostate feels normal. How they had time to tell I will never understand and let that be the magic of medicine. I’m thinking to myself, “couldn’t you have just taken his word for it?” But I digress.

I guess if they don’t jam their finger everything is okay. This is the crazy stuff I think in my head. What comes out of my mouth has been called, “High risk, High reward” humor. Sometimes it is “way out there”. I see things at slightly twisted angles. Sometimes I say it, sometimes I don’t. If you see me grinning…I didn’t say it.

We talk a little bit about the this and the that of what is going on and he does not let me get too far down the road. He is kind and direct and keeps me reeled in. He is protecting me from me. We all need that sometimes…to be saved from ourselves.

 

Tuesday, January 28, 2014 9:45am-10:30am (CST): Back to Dr. Rascal’s. It is snowing in Alabama. This is clearly a good sign. It never snows…like, really snows in Alabama…I drive back down the mountain to my office for about forty-five minutes because it is so close and I have time. I make my way back up the mountain and note that this little snow thingy is sticking to my car and the road. It hit Birmingham after rush hour. It will be gone when I get finished. I am sitting in the very slick waiting room at 10:35 when I realize I have no idea why I am here. “Man, it is REALLY coming down now…I wonder if anything will become of this?”

I’m finally called back in this modern facility complete with dark concrete walls and floors and tall black open ceilings. It is loud back here. His staff is getting nervous because of the weather. You can hear every word. They are and should be distracted but they are all pressing on taking care of business. Doc arrives, “So what brings you in?” I said, “I have no idea”. I bring him up to speed and we realize I needed to come back after my second blood test comes back with my normal PSA levels so we can treat my low testosterone.

I hit the door and the snow has not let up. It has actually increased. It looks like Colorado. I am kinda excited because my car loves snow…I think. It never snows in Alabama…BUT! I have 4WD and I want to need it so I can use it. If things get really bad I will just cruise by all of the people who have wisely pulled their pick-ups and SUV’s over to the side of the road before they went home to turn on their gas fireplaces and microwave their homemade hot chocolate. The incredible luck! I am a half mile from my son’s school…I’m going to get him. I will avoid the parents who are sliding all over carpool and park on a side road and walk up and get him…I’m so smart. As my son and I head back to my car I am perplexed as to why there is not a single car at the school. I’m quickly distracted by another parent struggling with her car. I help her park it on the side of the road and offer to drive her and her daughter home. She explained she was close enough to walk but I persuade her to get in the car. She relents. She will come back and get it in a couple of hours. The absence of cars at the school further excites me of my good fortune to have an all terrain vehicle. I will drop her off and be home in thirty minutes adding ten minutes for inclement weather. This could be fun.

After I drop her off, I head back down the mountain. Huh? There is no way out. There are cars everywhere. I am witnessing the genesis of “SNOWPOCALYPSE 2014”. I will spare you the smallest details. The cell towers are full. No voice calls. Only text messages are working. The text messaging allowed me to coordinate the retrieval of my oldest child. Total carnage. I live in Vestavia HILLS. Yes Hills. There are ten different ways to get home…Which way has the smallest incline/decline? I am Magellan. I know the way.

One in the back seat CHECK!….One young seven year old little boy trapped in the back of the car…He watched his snow day through a foggy window. He was miserable and mad that he wasn’t playing in the snow. He would jump out and make snow balls as we crawled to our destination. My wife is at home. CHECK! My freshman daughter escaped the high school and managed to actually get stranded further away from home than the school…that’s what I would have done…I get it. “kinda” CHECK! She is safe and accounted for. My oldest daughter talked her way out of school and we have a rendezvous point. She and her boyfriend walked about two miles to a place where I could scoop them up and take them back to our house. DONE! After pushing cars out of the way (in dress shoes) and taking a detour through someone’s yard. We made it….three hours and forty-five minutes later.

There were many heroes during this ordeal. I saw so many acts of kindness and read about many more. My decaying faith in humanity is restored. Some of those kids and teachers I saw as I picked up my first-grader spent the night. Although none of us knew at that time what was about to happen, I wish I could have grabbed couple of them.

What does this have to do with your freaking prostate? Well, due to an unnecessary scheduled visit with my doctor who is less than a mile away from my son’s school…my son got home….granted he probably would have had a ball at school with his pals

Hwy 280 1/28/2014

Hwy 280 looking at the Birmingham, AL Snowpocalypse 2014

…my wife would have flipped out. There was no way I could have gotten up and back down that mountain and made it home. No way, I couldn’t have made it in a Humvee. It was total carnage. I would have walked. I would have walked and walked. We would have gotten somewhere. It would have been a treacherous excursion with plenty of risk. Luck? I choose to think otherwise.

Michelle still doesn’t know a thing.