Hello Cancer! Despite the news the world keeps turning. Today is Parker’s birthday, Dylan has a dance recital and Devin has prom. Michelle has questions and I give her what I have…which is very little.

“We got it early, it’s stage one, prognosis is good, I will not die”. That’s my answer. First, I thought I was being quiet. I was thinking how I was going to break the news to Michelle. Its the magic of humans. I had a buddy who had a theory in high school. He would say something like, “Don’t you think she’s a babe?” in his normal voice when the subject was close enough to hear. “shooosh! she’ll hear you” I would reply. “No she won’t, people hear whispers”. To prove his point he would elevate his voice and repeat with even more “compliments” describing her “babedom”. I would wait for the fallout. Nothing. He proved this theory over and over. Jay Wright’s theory holds true today. Michelle was tuned in to my conversation and knew the news wasn’t what we wanted to hear.

There I sit on the edge of the tub, around the corner with the shower running…carefully listening, speaking in a soft voice trying to retain the information. My head in my hands, we end the call with instructions that I will receive a packet in the mail with information about treatment options on Monday. I also make an appointment to meet him at Trinity Hospital Monday for a consult.

Michelle bounces out of bed and walks in and says, “What did he say?”. “I have cancer” Michelle snaps back, “and?”. “We got it early, it’s stage one, prognosis is good, I will not die”

She was prepared for it as was I. I was actually just glad to have the waiting behind us. Jason Love calls me and I tell him the news and he tells me that the number one thing we have to do is get me fixed…nothing else matters. Of all the people I know, I would choose Jason Love to shrink down, jump in my body and kick cancer’s ass. I will add that Jason wouldn’t let me choose anyone else. He would be the first volunteer and would fight the guy who tried to go first. He is fiercely loyal and and incredibly stubborn. I pick him.

Now there are four people who know. We have to tell the kids. We have stuff to do. I decide that waiting on mail is not what I’m going to do and arrange to pick the packet up at Eric’s office.

After lunch I pick up the packet and grab Parker and Jill…you know that part. I spend the rest of the day having fun. Even though I know that this won’t kill me, things are different now.

Saturday April 13th, 2014:  Today is a normal Saturday. My beloved 8 year old A’s have a game against the Angels at 1:45. We came in second place. We played tough but the game was fun. It is amazing how worked up we all get cheering on these little guys. It was a beautiful day…I felt different. Parker and I head home. We have to get ready for Devin’s prom. Michelle had dance recital duty and that went well. Dylan is a great dancer and a better daughter. She’s a “gamer”. She has an extra gear when the costume is on and the lights are shining. We head down to Samford University and take pictures which is actually kind of fun. I am chasing Michelle around, who is chasing Devin around taking pictures of Devin and her friends. I have watched this group of kids grow up from K-12. The boys are handsome and the girls are stunning. This all seems to mean a little more today. 

 

Devin, some clown, and J.T.

After dinner I head down to the Spurlock’s. They are planning a recon mission to crash a wedding to scout out the band for their daughter’s wedding. Because of my obvious skill set I am recruited into the mission at the last minute. We walk into this formal wedding with confidence. Wisely, we have dressed down so as not to attract any attention to ourselves. We move from corner to corner…The band hasn’t started. We have no sound to guide us to our cause. We survey the landscape and spot the doorway to a big tent. Ah hah!

The band is about to start. We need proof for the bride. I step up and ask them to pose for a picture. The oblige. We listen to them play a few songs as we plot our course to escape. They sounded great! Thumbs up. Its a go….we’re off to Fleming’s to meet Michelle With no loss of life to the delegation we will celebrate our successful assignment. The bride will undoubtably be pleased with our report.

During this great night I wrestle with the whole, “should I tell ’em now?” thing. I elect to save it. Essentially this is the first setting I have to start letting those closest to Michelle and I know what’s up. I am completely aware that ever time I tell someone close to me I am essentially hitting them over the head with bad news. Its a punch in the mouth and I need to have a plan for Monday.

Monday-Wednesday April 15-17, 2014: Today I tell Justin the bad news and he has been beside me every step of the way. He, as much as Michelle knows everything that is going on as it is happening. I say this,”We got it early, it’s stage one, prognosis is good, I will not die”.

We talk a lot today. Justin has questions and he asks them. This is great because I need to have answers and he fires away as I do my best to answer. This day is preparing me for the “new normal” for the next few weeks as word gets out. I flip the page on one of my many pads on my desk. Justin laughs because I am constantly “running” three pads. A small side spiral. a small flip spiral and a yellow legal pad. The yellow legal pad will be called into duty as I make my list of people to call and “bang over the head” with my news.

I work inside out. From my closest friends to my best friends to my really good friends to my dear friends. This is a great plan if everyone answers on the first call. Its close enough for “guvm’t work”. It will have to do. It is a draining process. I leave one voice mail because I now I will get that call back pretty quick. Dane doesn’t disappoint. He offers me every resource available. No surprise. I have known him for twenty-eight years and offers love and prayers and support.

I make it halfway down the list before I grow tired of unloading this burden to my friends. I elect to send an email to the rest.

Here it is:

On Apr 17, 2014 3:18 PM, “David Surber” <David.Surber@cellularsales.com> wrote:

Greetings from Dixie!

I have some news to share with you that I had planned on calling you to discuss but quite frankly I am tired of talking about.

 

I have joined an exclusive club that will inevitably gain me entry into a much better club.  Cancer Survivor…”Eye of the Tiger” Baby

 

I have been diagnosed with Stage 1 Prostate cancer. I will not die from it.

 

If you were forced to pick a cancer this is the one you want. We caught it early and I will live a long prostate free life.

It will not kill me… I have a 92% survival rate.

If you had to pick a city and a group of doctors in the universe to handle this…Birmingham is top 3 in the universe.

 

I’m in great hands. I will have surgery June 11th. It will require one night in a hospital. I will be back on my feet two weeks after that.

I will set records for recovery.

No chemo or radiation is required at this point nor is it anticipated.

 

This journey began in January with a simple physical exam at my GP. He checked my blood for Prostate-Specific Antigen or PSA count which was high. Checked it again at my urologist, Dr. Jellyfingers and it was higher.

April 4th I had the really awesome experience of participating in a prostate biopsy…..Look it up…Kinda sucked.

 

2 or the 12 tissue samples showed microscopic cancer (RC that means little itty bitty)

 

I got it early. We caught it early. Kill the Cancer…Save the Boner!

 

I have suggested a prostate going away party…It could be fun!

 

I am well. I will live…Life is good.

 

I share this with you not as a burden..I have dubbed this adventure “an inconvenient gift” .

 

I will document and share this journey and encourage all of my friends to stop being a wuss and go get your annual physical….make sure you ask about your PSA and if nothing else in my non-professional logical opinion is to get a bench mark…

The rectal exam is fine if provided a delicious pinot. But it’s a waste of time if they aren’t testing your PSA levels in your blood.

 

My prostate was normal.

 

So get on it boys!

 

Sorry for the heavy news..I wanted you to “hear it” from me before it hits the network.

 

Please receive this as good news and know I am in good hands.

 

Surber

 

Obviously some things have changed since I penned this email. I didn’t have surgery on June 11th.

So now the journey continues as I begin to gather information. Share my news and continue as though nothing is wrong.

I close with this note:

I spent many nights up to the diagnosis trying to figure out what to pray. How do you pray for a miracle? First you ask for it. “Lord heal me entirely. kill this cancer inside of me and let me be your witness….okay okay I know I’m being a little greedy Lord….there are many more deserving people in need of a miracle….I’m guessing you have picked me….that’s fine. I accept your mission…I pray that when your will is revealed that I am smart enough to see it. I accept it is not a curse but a gift….an inconvenient gift”. That prayer sums up my usual nightly prayer. This blog provides an outlet and hopefully does something for somebody.

I will share how we broke the news to the kids next.

please follow the blog and you will be receive an email notification on my updates. I am not going to edit this now I will later. I fired my editir for not showing up for the first day or wrok. (see what  Idid there?).