Monthly Archives: April 2014

Biopsy Day…Lot’s to say here. #6

The Beach at Seaside

Seaside Florida

I have a date set and two weeks to go before the procedure. I have plenty of distractions. The “Circle of Trust” has widened to include some folks that I work very closely with as well as a couple of friends and a group of men in my Entrepreneur’s Organization forum. The number stands at less than twenty folks. The weeks leading up to Spring Break include an EO membership event, Parker’s baseball games and practices, Dylan’s fifteenth birthday, my EO forum’s monthly meeting as well as a planning meeting with my business partner, Jason and strategy meetings for a couple of initiatives we are working on for the company. I could not have asked for a better eleven days before Spring Break. 

As a very young man I remember a prayer. It went something like this, “Dear God, Just once…just one time…If you could ever find it in your will to provide me with a house full of beautiful young women with a beach setting during a vacation time like…like Spring Break, I will be forever in your debt. I promise to be a good boy…thanks…Amen…”. Well, He delivered, and at the moment I recalled the petition and recognized the plea lay answered before me…I chuckled at His sense of humor. I had learned later in life, after my original request and was again reminded to be specific in prayer. God had answered and it was the perfect answer…I am glad however, that I didn’t make two such requests. 

March 22-29, 2014 Spring Break: My side kick and wingman for the trip is David Hamric. I have known, “Hambone” or “Hammy” for several years but only in the last couple of years have we spent time outside of our daughters’ activities and our wives’ instruction. We both see things in our own twisted way. Dang! Hammy may have to back out. He has a bulging disc in his neck that is creating all kinds of problems. He is experiencing neck pain, his forearm is burning because of the pinched nerve.He decides he’s going…he can hurt at home or hurt at the beach…he chose the beach. He can’t sleep and the pain killers just take the edge off. I think he said the pain meds took it from a 12 to a 6.5 on his pain index with 10 being the highest number. He hung in there though. It was kind of cold and windy and a little rainy all week. We watched NCAA tourney. Eash day we would look for the perfect plan to find a little comfort for Hambone. He knew about my impending “date with Dr. Jellyfingers” and we talked about how much better it could have been if we were 100%. Not to worry, we did find some time to laugh and have a good time. We may have been the only guys who could have enjoyed the company of the other. Each of us glad we weren’t going through the other’s ordeal. All in all we did the best with what we had…and we did great.

The first week of April is a busy week. First, come up with clever April Fool’s gag. Second, Have my prostate biopsied. Next, Mike Frazier will drive the two of us down to Pensacola for a private gig at a “Change of Command” celebration. Finally, have Mike drive us back to Birmingham for another gig at Blackwell’s Neighborhood Pub. My Doctor has “signed off” for this little adventure, post biopsy. I did everything but number one…which, ironically I now do many times through out the day (think about it…there ya go).

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Let’s back it up a bit.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014: Jose’ Ordonez is stopping in Birmingham for a couple of days on his way back home to Kansas City. We have a couple of days of interviews and recruiting stuff to discuss for work. I picked him up at about 8.30pm at BHM and took him to Blackwell’s for some food and a beverage. We got back home around 11:30 or so. Michelle was up and happy to see our friend. We all lived in Knoxville in another life and share some fond memories before we started this little “growing up” thing. We enjoyed catching up and talking about kids and family and being so far away from “home”. Before you know it is 2AM. We all panic and go to sleep….well kinda. Despite the high gravity beers and the late hour I still couldn’t sleep. Carpool and work await early Wednesday morning. 

Wednesday, April 2, 2014: Rock and Roll! Jose’ and I are up, he finishes a conference call and we head to work. We have a great day! Lot’s of collaboration no down time, we are 100 mph all day. We head back to Blackwell’s after work and have a drink and then to Fleming’s for dinner and back home. I order some to-go food for Michelle. Once back home, Jose’ and I sit on the patio with a night cap talking shop. The perfect recipe for sleep. The formula: sleep deprived + long work day + wine + dinner + scotch = sleep. This is easy. I yawn myself to my palette and prepare to settle in for a delicious night’s rest. BAM! Wide awake. I knew this was happening. I was hoping to ignore it and get caught up on some much needed rest.

This is the night when I come to grips with what is really going on. I am stressed out. I have pushed this aside. Here is what I have been praying in regards to my the old prostate thing-a-majig: a) that I don’t have cancer. b) that if I do have cancer that we’ve caught it early c) that if God has chosen me to carry this burden, that I understand His purpose and I recognize the plan when it is revealed….You would think that laying in bed every night for a couple of weeks that maybe I would possibly recognize that this ordeal is taking its toll on me. What do you do? You get up everyday and do what you do everyday. If I stay busy I can hold this off. Man, I’m tired.

Sometime before this point I receive instructions for a “Prostate Needle Biopsy”…That’s the first time I heard the word needle…Well I guess that makes sense. I guess….kinda.

Here are the highlights: 

  • Fleet enema two hours before procedure
  • take an antibiotic the morning of
  • Take a valium one hour before 
  • eat normal
  • don’t drive

Just the name of the enema is funny. “Fleet”. Have fun with that for a minute. I am texting Eric, Tuesday night before the surgery. I am at the pharmacy picking up my “Fleet” two pack. I decided to get the two pack. Better to have too much than not enough. Only the valium was there. No antibiotics had been either called in or received. It doesn’t really matter. The last thing I did when I left Eric’s office a couple of weeks ago was “pick up my shield and ready my dagger”. I send him a text…here is our exchange:

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NOTE: Pretty cool, Hammy had just sent me a text when I took the screen shot for this. You can read it at the top. He added me to his Church’s prayer list. Coincidence? Nope. “You are….in good hands.” – Thank you Hammy, You’re a good man.

I also sent him a text that said, “I am going to give myself a bourbon enema so you know how my dentist feels…” I still think that is pretty funny. He reminded me that I am indeed a little twisted. 

 

Thursday April 3, 2014:Up and At’em! Jose’ and I head to the office after a cup of coffee and my prescribed morning Cipro. I have a call with Ann to discuss a timeline I am working on. I have a little more to do than I have time. I cut my call with Ann a little bit early and hand her off to Jose’. I say my goodbyes and hit the road. He knows the situation and is aware of my dread. I don’t really know what I am dreading other than the point of entry…which is kind of lame to choose that of all the other stuff I should be dreading when you look at the alternative ways they have to access my prostate. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. The besets straight line is one that doesn’t require a scalpel and the loss of the blood. Bring it on doc! I’m your boy. I am going to be the very best patient ever.

Enema done! The last enema I recall in the very back of my mind is at a coffee bar in South Beach two years ago…I kid. I kid…I remember my grandmother flushing out the bacteria of my young bowels….”Nana Style”. Nana isn’t like Doctor Jellyfingers and the whole DRE thing. Nana took her time and was very gentle…I think. I just remember asking for “why?” and remember her telling me “because”. I remember crying and fighting and being worn down by that lady…. I was eighteen…Okay, I was at least three or maybe four years old. Yes, I do have memories of being three years old. 

Next, Valium and some water. We have to be in Homewood at 1:30pm for my procedure. Michelle is driving and I am riding ‘gun. The drive is about twenty minutes. I step out of the car and I immediately feel the valium…I didn’t fall. My legs took a second to adjust to the chemical racing through my blood stream. I giggled a little bit and told Michelle I was a little unsteady on my feet. I quickly pulled it together and walked to the elevator. The elevator opens and an attractive lady wearing a white lab coat walks by us. I smile and say, “hello”. I look at Michelle and say, “That’s my doctor”. “Really?” she asks. “Nope, I just wanted to see your reaction”. Michelle was also feeling a little strain during all of this and doing a great job of hiding it. She knew Eric was my doctor. I was surprised she bit.

We arrive at the second floor and I walk  up to sign in. Michelle has her “PEOPLE” magazine and some other smut to read while I am in the back. All of my appointments to this point have been first thing in the morning. It’s usually pretty quiet. Today it is packed with folks waiting….waiting on either a doctor or a patient. I decide that a bunch of people is a good thing. There’s a grumpy lady who is upset that the EMT’s waiting near us can’t silence their radio. I wish it bothered me. 

“DAVID SURBER”, my name is announced. They pronounce “Surber” correctly and again, I see that as a good thing. I am calm (thank you Mr. Cipro), cool and walking tall. I will be the best patient to have ever come through this place. It is just another day. I do this every Thursday. What’s the big deal?

 

 

Time #5

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Now it’s the wait and see time. I have transitioned to the “we” from the “me” part of this journey. There are just a handful of folks who are aware to some degree of what it going on with me. Looking back on this, telling Michelle was huge. To hit her over the head with this news any later would have been incredibly unfair. My goal to protect her would have caused her so much more pain. I got lucky. God certainly presented that time and I’m fortunate I took His lead. I didn’t see that at the time. I only understood it later.

Everything is actually still alright. I’m not consumed by this except when I have to go to the bathroom. So that’s only five or six times a day…plus the three or more at night before I go to sleep. So, I’ve got that going for me. Consume is a strong word…I’m still looking forward to getting this resolved so I can get my new meds that will fix this whole prostate issue up. I know it will take a few weeks for the medicine to do its job and then I will be able to start a testosterone treatment which will give me my “zip” back and life will be so much better. The guys I know who are on a testosterone replacement therapy have said it is amazing. They rant and rave about the improvement of their quality of life. This is my hope. This vision is the carrot. I am David Surber and things work out every time, all of the time.

Sunday, March 09, 2014: Michelle turns 41 today and most importantly…Daylight Savings Time begins. A year ago Michelle and I were in New York City for her “surprise” 40th birthday celebration. We had so much fun. It snowed, we saw “Wicked”, I spent time with my oldest and best friend, Jay Wright and his wife Gia and met his son again. Tibor was born on our anniversary in 2011. This year’s birthday party?….nothing. We went to Flip Burger with just our family and that was exactly what Michelle wanted. She loves her family and is completely devoted to our kids. She is a much better person than me. She wins….not even close. I collect cell phones and stack them on the corner of the table. Parker reminds me to do this when we have dinner. He gets it. Be in the now.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014: Audrey Julian is born. Audrey Julian is born to Jeff and Brandy Julian. A day for celebration for sure, I think she was born about the time I am getting some pretty crappy news. I have an 8:30 appointment at his office. I can’t remember if this was scheduled at the first appointment or later. I head back to an examination room to meet with Eric. What’s going on in my head? I am prepared for the worst and hopeful for the best news. Eric comes in and we chat a little bit about baseball. Our boys play in the same league and he is a coach. Down to business.He explains that my PSA levels didn’t go down or stay the same. In fact they went up from 7.4 to 9.2.

I have a Phd in fun. I like fun, I like to laugh. I like folks to be happy and humor is my weapon of choice as well as my shield. This is a very serious conversation. My friend has been carrying this burden and is now telling be some “not so great” news. Armed with my humor I keep my wit in its sheath and my shield on the floor. I have also learned when to shut up and listen. I may have lobbed out some “optimism” while we talked but my role in this discussion is clear. Be respectful of what Eric is saying and soak it in. I am going to have to tell Michelle and I must have as many answers to her many, many questions as I can. Michelle is a “details” person. I am a “big picture” person. While she seeks to understand the details she has an ‘interrogation style” of questioning. Its rapid fire and its intelligent. I must be prepared. We know more than we did but we still have a lot to learn. When I leave I do know one thing. I have scheduled a prostate biopsy scheduled for April 3rd.

As I said earlier I hoped for the best but was prepared for the worst. This would be considered the worst news. I’m okay…I think. I had a Chamber Lunch where I serve as an Ambassador. It was a great distraction. Meeting new members and spending a few minutes with a really positive and inspiring group of folks. Michael Giardina is unknowingly providing me some good medicine. Being himself. We will meet again in Seaside, Florida for Spring Break 2014. I’ll save that story for another day.

Happy Anniversary! #4

Lot’s of stuff going on post “Snowpocalypse”. School is out for the rest of the week. Abandoned cars litter the road. It took the rest of the week for the snow to melt, freeze again, and finally melt. Even if the main roads were cleared the secondary roads and neighborhood roads were still difficult if not impossible to navigate. Birmingham isn’t a snow town. Birmingham isn’t a snow flurry town for that matter. As the city recovers and begins to settle back in, there is word that avery similar storm system is heading our way.

“Fool me once…”, say the people. We all hunker down and prepare to be prepared. All businesses, schools, government agencies, churches, shelters…everyone is ready. It rained. Many of us were able to find the humor in this who weren’t scarred from the events. The Surber’s made it out unscathed. Many others were not as fortunate, some worse.

As February arrives, we see the end of basketball and beginning of baseball for a busy 8 year old. We are one more month closer to March which will see our daylight extended by one hour. Two events happen in February. Everyone knows about St. Valentines days. The second occasion is the anniversary of the day of my…of our wedding. February 17th  is the day that Michelle and I were married.

This year marks our 18th year and we are still going strong. This year we have also been lucky enough to be included on a birthday celebration for our very dear friend Lori. Lori and Mark have included us on a really great Las Vegas experience to celebrate her birthday with another couple. Tom and Jenise have been our dear friends since we moved to Birmingham in 2000. This is going to be fun!

Friday, February, 14 2014: Many folks love this scheduled day of romance. Apparently none of “those” folks set the calendar for this years Sadie Hawkins Dance. We have two daughters who have squared away their dates. I don’t know how your dances are but these dances in Vestavia Hills are work. Don’t misunderstand me. It is a lot of fun seeing friends and all of our kids all “dolled-up” in a very social setting. Group pictures, sub group pictures, date pictures, pictures with parents, pictures with pictures…all kinds of pictures. Two daughters, one dance, four locations….glad it’s raining. We had a ball! We holed up wit home new and old friends at a restaurant near the kids and enjoyed some food and beverage…..and many trips to the “urination station”. Tomorrow afternoon, we leave for Vegas. I have never been to Vegas.

Saturday, February, 15 2014: Catching a direct flight on a Saturday afternoon is cake. We managed to insert our own amount of stress into this seemingly simple task. No worries. We meet at the airport and enjoy a celebratory bloody mary before we leave. I had a vodka and grapefruit. Wheels up!

Mark has a driver waiting on us holding a sign with Lori’s name on it. The driver collects our luggage and takes us to the limosine. We are traveling with, “Vegas Professionals”. We stop by the drug store and get couple of bottles of champagne to continue the celebration. Yes, the drug store. We also pick up some other spirits and such. A couple of loops around the strip and we are at the hotel. 24 Hours until the Bruno Mars show. Smiles all around.

Sunday, February, 16 2014: Bloody Mary’s and cigars on the balcony. It is a beautiful day in the desert and we hang out after breakfast, just relaxing and talking about whatever. Good times with good friends. Michelle and I take off on an excursion to check things out, This is her second trip to Las Vegas and she guides me around our little corner of the desert. Shopping, lunch with the gang, a little more browsing, quick purchase…let’s get ready for Bruno.

This is the day that I finally let her in on my little secret. I tell her everything I know….which is not much. I think I have enough information to let her know that, “something’s up” and that we shouldn’t be concerned. Most likely I have an enlarged prostate and they make medicine for that. I was tired of keeping the secret ….and because I am so young, I’m probably right.

Bruno Mars sounded great. Mark set us up with a VIP section and Enrique. Enrique was our “Nightlife Marketing Host”. He led us past the lines, around the ropes, through the curtain down to our box. Bruno delivers a show, not a concert…a show. Everything is planned, no variance from the schedule. Starts and ends on time and it is awesome.

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Monday, February 2014 12:01-ish: Our AnniversayMichelle knew I had “it”, but wasn’t 100% sure. I had recruited Jenise and Lori with Jenise serving as my “mule”. She has the cargo. It was important that our hosts were okay with this plan. After all we are here to celebrate Lori’s birthday. This is her party. Not surprisingly, she graciously lends her support to my cause and helps map it out. After Bruno finished we stop by a cocktail stand and talk about the show visit the restroom. We circle around Michelle. I am winking, nodding, whispering and nudging as I take Michelle’s new wedding ring and slip it on her finger. The original wedding ring had been erroneously discarded a few years earlier. It was my Great Aunt Francis’ wedding ring and it fit Michelle perfectly. That’s another blog and shorter story. Tomorrow we head back to the Magic City.

 

A Day That Will Live in Infamy #3

Tuesday, January 28, 2014 8:30am (CST) : What a day. I get to the doctor’s office a little early and I have completed my paperwork complete with insurance card and paid my money. I wait for a few minutes. I go back and meet with Eric. I have blood drawn. I have my second Digital Rectal Examination in my whole life which covers one week and approximately one hour. Two different men with two different approaches but more importantly they both got it done in mid sentence and before I could prepare myself. 

This is one swift motion for these guys. Here it is in slow motion; snap of the glove, lube, ass-punch, glove off (while stepping on the industrial waste can pedal to open and close the lid), latex glove squeals as it is swiftly removed from the master’s hand and deposited in said waste can, all while talking to me. I don’t know what he said. The only warning that I had; was hearing his voice oscillate and then roll toward me as he readied himself and the rumble of the wheels of the stool. I don’t think those wheels stopped. One big scoot. I only know this part of our visit is over, because he sprang up handed me some tissues like a gentleman and began to wash his hands.

DRE, twice in one week….accounting for a total time of one-second. This one-second of my life is what has truly been the source of my procrastination. ONE-SECOND! The relief of knowing that I have faced this “fear” twice in one week filled me with pride. Not the pride many of us have that prevents us from going to the doctor and having an honest conversation…not the stupid pride. The good pride.

The only thing I can imagine worse than being on the index finger end of a DRE is being on the wrist side of the DRE. I tended bar for nine years and I bet I never dealt with as many assholes as these guys have. This is what they do though. A thankless job if everything checks out okay. Both Doctors said that my prostate feels normal. How they had time to tell I will never understand and let that be the magic of medicine. I’m thinking to myself, “couldn’t you have just taken his word for it?” But I digress.

I guess if they don’t jam their finger everything is okay. This is the crazy stuff I think in my head. What comes out of my mouth has been called, “High risk, High reward” humor. Sometimes it is “way out there”. I see things at slightly twisted angles. Sometimes I say it, sometimes I don’t. If you see me grinning…I didn’t say it.

We talk a little bit about the this and the that of what is going on and he does not let me get too far down the road. He is kind and direct and keeps me reeled in. He is protecting me from me. We all need that sometimes…to be saved from ourselves.

 

Tuesday, January 28, 2014 9:45am-10:30am (CST): Back to Dr. Rascal’s. It is snowing in Alabama. This is clearly a good sign. It never snows…like, really snows in Alabama…I drive back down the mountain to my office for about forty-five minutes because it is so close and I have time. I make my way back up the mountain and note that this little snow thingy is sticking to my car and the road. It hit Birmingham after rush hour. It will be gone when I get finished. I am sitting in the very slick waiting room at 10:35 when I realize I have no idea why I am here. “Man, it is REALLY coming down now…I wonder if anything will become of this?”

I’m finally called back in this modern facility complete with dark concrete walls and floors and tall black open ceilings. It is loud back here. His staff is getting nervous because of the weather. You can hear every word. They are and should be distracted but they are all pressing on taking care of business. Doc arrives, “So what brings you in?” I said, “I have no idea”. I bring him up to speed and we realize I needed to come back after my second blood test comes back with my normal PSA levels so we can treat my low testosterone.

I hit the door and the snow has not let up. It has actually increased. It looks like Colorado. I am kinda excited because my car loves snow…I think. It never snows in Alabama…BUT! I have 4WD and I want to need it so I can use it. If things get really bad I will just cruise by all of the people who have wisely pulled their pick-ups and SUV’s over to the side of the road before they went home to turn on their gas fireplaces and microwave their homemade hot chocolate. The incredible luck! I am a half mile from my son’s school…I’m going to get him. I will avoid the parents who are sliding all over carpool and park on a side road and walk up and get him…I’m so smart. As my son and I head back to my car I am perplexed as to why there is not a single car at the school. I’m quickly distracted by another parent struggling with her car. I help her park it on the side of the road and offer to drive her and her daughter home. She explained she was close enough to walk but I persuade her to get in the car. She relents. She will come back and get it in a couple of hours. The absence of cars at the school further excites me of my good fortune to have an all terrain vehicle. I will drop her off and be home in thirty minutes adding ten minutes for inclement weather. This could be fun.

After I drop her off, I head back down the mountain. Huh? There is no way out. There are cars everywhere. I am witnessing the genesis of “SNOWPOCALYPSE 2014”. I will spare you the smallest details. The cell towers are full. No voice calls. Only text messages are working. The text messaging allowed me to coordinate the retrieval of my oldest child. Total carnage. I live in Vestavia HILLS. Yes Hills. There are ten different ways to get home…Which way has the smallest incline/decline? I am Magellan. I know the way.

One in the back seat CHECK!….One young seven year old little boy trapped in the back of the car…He watched his snow day through a foggy window. He was miserable and mad that he wasn’t playing in the snow. He would jump out and make snow balls as we crawled to our destination. My wife is at home. CHECK! My freshman daughter escaped the high school and managed to actually get stranded further away from home than the school…that’s what I would have done…I get it. “kinda” CHECK! She is safe and accounted for. My oldest daughter talked her way out of school and we have a rendezvous point. She and her boyfriend walked about two miles to a place where I could scoop them up and take them back to our house. DONE! After pushing cars out of the way (in dress shoes) and taking a detour through someone’s yard. We made it….three hours and forty-five minutes later.

There were many heroes during this ordeal. I saw so many acts of kindness and read about many more. My decaying faith in humanity is restored. Some of those kids and teachers I saw as I picked up my first-grader spent the night. Although none of us knew at that time what was about to happen, I wish I could have grabbed couple of them.

What does this have to do with your freaking prostate? Well, due to an unnecessary scheduled visit with my doctor who is less than a mile away from my son’s school…my son got home….granted he probably would have had a ball at school with his pals

Hwy 280 1/28/2014

Hwy 280 looking at the Birmingham, AL Snowpocalypse 2014

…my wife would have flipped out. There was no way I could have gotten up and back down that mountain and made it home. No way, I couldn’t have made it in a Humvee. It was total carnage. I would have walked. I would have walked and walked. We would have gotten somewhere. It would have been a treacherous excursion with plenty of risk. Luck? I choose to think otherwise.

Michelle still doesn’t know a thing.

That was Fast #2

Thursday, January 23, 2014, 12:30pm (CST): I am working in Panama City. I have some interviews and I don’t even know I have missed a call. I check my voicemail. “Hello this is “Judy” from Dr. Rascal’s office. We received your blood work back and your PSA levels are a little higher than we like to see them. The Doctor recommends you have your blood checked again at a urologist’s office…call back…questions…bye…”. I call her back and clear it up as much as I can.

The good news is, I have a soon to be good friend who is a urologist at home in Birmingham. I send him a text message with what little bit I know but with a very clear sense of panic and urgency. The emotion of the moment is drawn from not understanding what in the hell a PSA is and what the hell PSA isn’t. No clue. I coincidentally got Eric’s number from a mutual friend. Eric was looking for a new cell phone and wanted to make sure he got it from Cellular Sales.  I had Eric’s cell phone number saved in my phone for less than two weeks since his text. Eric is my new urologist! Keep in mind, this is all happening through text messaging.

Me: Just got a call from my doc (Rascal) telling me my blood work has elevated levels (?) in regards cancer and my prostate…how quick can you help me get an appointment? PSA?

Eric: I can see you as early as this afternoon at homewood or tomorrow at Trinity office. Or anytime next week. Don’t be too alarmed. txt

The next few texts were ironing out an appointment which I set for the following Tuesday. His “don’t be too alarmed” was perfect. Not dismissive but consoling and offered just enough comfort for me to finish my trip and get home with no anxiety.

All of this is going on while I am working with Jason, my business partner and my “work husband”. He was the right guy to be there because he didn’t know what I was talking about and therefore had zero chance of getting excited or showing concern. I mean that in the best way. He’s a calm logical and sensible man. There’s not enough information to warrant emotion without understanding.

Back to Birmingham. I’m not telling my wife. Michelle will worry and I don’t even know what is going on. I plugged it into a very common search engine….Now I know more, but I don’t really know what I know more about. I decide not to obsess over this and put it aside until Tuesday.

I play music. I have been playing acoustic “gigs” with Mike Frazier for 21 years. I have a gig the day after I get the call. Friday will be an excellent distraction with one of the best friends I have ever had and closest confidant. It will be good to share this info with Mike, who by day calls on urologist for his pharmaceutical job and actually introduced me to Eric. Coincidence? I think not. Mike is a master of communication and offers a little more explanation as well as therapy.

I’m good now. Let’s rock!

Let’s start here #1

New Year’s resolutions have been written down. At the top of the list, “…go get yourself checked out by a doctor”. Simply stated, “Get a physical”. My original doctor and I had both moved offices in the last two years and he was just too far away and too inconvenient. I did some doctor searching in December and I knew who and where. I didn’t base my decision solely on convenience. I liked what I had heard about him and I liked that he was ten minutes up the street from my office. Appointment booked!

Tuesday, January 21, 2014, 9:30am (CST): I arrived early enough to fill out the paperwork. I have no allergies and no unusual medical history so this didn’t take long. In the weeks leading up to my appointment I kept a running list of ailments and concerns I wanted to mention and maybe discuss with the doctor in my 2014 moleskine. At forty-six years old, every single time I have left my doctor’s office I have forgotten about that one something on my mind. Not this time, I have a list. Looking back on my graph papered list I see black and blue ink, felt tip and ball point notes by my list in a mismatch of cursive and printed numbers and letters…neat and organized. I have built the list over the last three weeks. Today is gonna be a good day…I have my list.